Getting where you want to go in life...

I'm back, and I've got some very powerful insights to share with you in this post... Over the years, almost all of my Boxes Life Transformation System clients have set out to make a fairly significant life changes in the “Vocational” area of life. This usually becomes necessary once they design the life they want to live in the other 7 areas of life and it becomes clear that what it takes to enable that lifestyle is significantly more “cash flow” than they currently generate! Often as much as twice the current cash flow is necessary... let's call this “2x”.

At this point they are confronted with the need to make a choice... Do they give up the designed lifestyle goals (because it is impossible to double, or tipple their cash flow), or change their current cash flow generation method to achieve the cash flow necessary to accomplish their lifestyle goals?

How do you think most people, when confronted with this choice, decide it? Do you want some good news? They choose to "try" to change their cash flow generation method! The problem is.... most people are never confronted with the choice because the never step back from the press of life to design the life they would really like to live to begin with... Without this critical piece of information you are oblivious to the need to make a change, you have no problem to solve, and no reason why...

By the way, do you know what determines the cash flow a person generates? Their employer? Their job? Their vocation? Their value? Well, I don't have time to answer this question at the moment, but I will in an upcoming Knowledge Expansion Session. For details on how you can participate in one of these events, go to www.getoutofyourbox.com and click the “Knowledge Expansion Sessions” button, then look of the “Breaking Out of Your Box” session and register.

I've found one obstacle common in the path of every one of my clients, an obstacle that fuels their inability to even take that first step to look into their future, and design their desired lifestyle. It is common to people in every walk of life. Over years I've helped myself and many others overcome that obstacle. The obstacle is called “F.U.D.” (that's short for Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt”). F.U.D. is powerful! It STOPS most people dead in their tracks before they can even get started... F.U.D. is one of the most common “failure diseases” I know! And it spreads just like the common cold! It's contagious.

You might think once a person overcomes their F.U.D they're home free, but that couldn't be further from the truth! You see, once you muster up the courage to “go public” with your radical new goals for creating the lifestyle you desire to live, your friends, family, and coworkers, having decided you've lost your marbles, jump right to your rescue by loaning you some of their F.U.D. Under the weight of such multiplied F.U.D. most people simply give up on their goal, and go back to existing...

Here is a great example... recently I was working with a client, let's call her Sally, who, having gotten clear about the life that she wanted to live, set a multi-dimensioned goal to decrease her cost of living, increase her cash flow (in real dollars), and move to a new town, into a higher level position. She had gotten very clear about her “value” in the marketplace and realized that she was being significantly under compensated by the company at which she was working now for 10 years. So she set a goal to change all of this by finding a position at the new higher responsibility and compensation level (a better representation of her value), in the targeted town, by a certain date! Great! So she set out to network her way into that job and town, by the date she had set.

Step 1, she updated her resume. Step 2, she made a list of the people most likely to connect her with the kind of job opportunity she sought in that town. Step three – she froze! F.U.D. She was afraid to pick up the phone and start calling! She was afraid of a lot of things, being rejected, told no, hearing that there weren't really any jobs out there given the economy, afraid of the unknown... Complete parallaysis!

Several weeks went by during which Sally filled her days with other less challenging (and less beneficial) priorities. This way, she and couldn't “find the time” to make the necessary calls, and thus avoided the pain of her F.U.D. realized.

Has this ever happened to you? Ultimately, through my coaching Sally was able to overcome this obstacle and get moving again, clock ticking on her target date. So off Sally went, making phone calls as we agreed, a minimum of four calls per week... She connected with friends working for companies she wanted to work for in that town, as well as recruiters... And what did she find? People who wanted to help her! Her friends were genuinely glad to hear from her and looking forward to seeing her, some really good stuff right? Yes, to be sure, but she also got more F.U.D. Yep, unknowingly, they all gave her some of their F.U.D. with statements like... “I've heard we aren't hiring because of the recession... Do you really think now is a good time to be looking to make a move like this? (that one translates into something like – What are you, nuts? Don't you know we're in a depression!)... I wouldn't move just yet if I were you... The market is dead over here...”

Now, all this F.U.D. was much louder and heavier for Sally than the good stuff, and she started to give up on achieving her goal by the date she had set by buying into it. And you know what? When you give up on your deadline (the “by when” date), you have just harpooned your goal in the head! You've succumbed to another failure disease, the one called Proscrasti-nation.

Fortunately, it was time for a coaching tune-up session, so Sally and I met at my office. During that session I said to Sally, “Sally, I think you need to “snap yourself into a new reality”! Who's goal is it anyway, your? , your friends in that town?, or the recruiters?” She said, “It is my goal.” Good answer I said! Then I asked her “Who is responsible for achieving that goal, you, me, your friends in that town, the recruiters?“ to which she replied “I am” (by the way, these are the most powerful two words known to man!)

Next, I told Sally this... “You're not committed to your goal. How do I know this? Because you have not yet put any skin in the game to materialize it real by the date you've set! If you are really committed to reaching your goal by the date you've set, then by the end of the day today you will have purchased and airline ticket for the target town, made a hotel reservation, reserved a rental car. You will also have gotten on the phone with your contacts and recruiters in that town to set up meetings with them during your trip there next week to interview for a position. You will have asked them to help you make the most of your trip by arranging meetings with hiring managers or clients that they believe would be interested in you, open position notwithstanding... to meet a great resource, someone that they've got to meet!”

Now, I can attest to the value of this approach personally - owning your goal, really owning it, and putting some skin in the game - because I've done it several times before. In fact, one such occasion was in December of 2002 I decided that I needed to generate more than double the cash flow that I was generating at the time, and in a new location to boot! So the first thing I did was to realize that my current employment situation was not likely to meet that expectation by the date I had set, May 25, 2003. Shortly after that realization, I burned the ships and committed fully to my goal! On December 11th 2002 I resigned my position to dedicate myself full-time to accomplishing my goal. Now if you recall, 2002 was not the best economy to walk away from a perfectly good job in. And many people thought I was nuts to do it, including my wife and one of my very best friends. That is until on April 28th, 2003, I started my new job in my new location for 2 and ½ times the cash flow of the position I left in December!

But let's get back to Sally... What did did she do? To find out keep an eye on my blog! I will post the answer very soon! Like Sally's experience, this blog is a progressive revelation... but isn't that what all good blogs should be?

Until then, remember... “If you want something you've never had, you've got to get out of your box to find it!"

Cheers,

Mark J.

Life Transformation Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author
Creator of the Boxes Life Transformation System and Coaching Program
hf Impact, llc.
www.getoutofyourbox.com
877.800.7273, x4